Rubber Gloves

12th February is St Margoldt’s Day. St Margoldt is the patron saint of household chores, motor oil and long-chain polymers. Here is what is known about St Margoldt’s life:

Margoldt of Scunthorpe (also known as Yellow Margoldt, probably as a result of jaundice) was born some time around 1220. He completed his studies at Grimsby and then returned to Scunthorpe where he became a hermit, living in a network of caves and tunnels underneath what is now Specsavers. Some sources list his death as being in 1285, others as 1295. Either way, he didn’t quite make the 14th century.

Miracles attributed to St Margoldt:
– A woman with dirty hands visits a well frequented by St Margoldt; she later finds that the stains have vanished
– After seeing St Margoldt in the street, a man waterproofs the hull of his small boat with tar. Despite making a right old mess and getting sticky black gunk in lots of places it shouldn’t be, his hands remain clean
– A washerwoman hears St Margoldt walk past her hut, whistling a tune. Later, despite having had her hands in water for over 2 hours, her finger ends are not in the slightest bit wrinkled
– A young child, playing in a muddy field, trips over one of St Margoldt’s sandals that came off as St Margoldt was returning to his cave after foraging for berries, and which he is now annoyed at having lost. When the young child stands up, he instinctively goes to wipe his hands on his smock, but notices to his astonishment that they are still dry

It is traditional on St Margoldt’s day to give a pair of rubber gloves to a loved one.

Glove 1
Orientation: Left hand
Cleanliness: 9
Integrity: 10
Eversion: 10 (100% right way round)

Glove 2
Orientation: Right hand
Cleanliness: 9
Integrity: 10
Eversion: 10 (100% right way round)

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